Critiques - Helpful or not?

Critiques are painful. Because a critique is, after all, CRITICAL, and when someone is telling you all the things that are wrong with the words that you sweat and cried over, it's hard not to be defensive. But, IMO (in my opinion) critiques are unparalleled in their ability to teach what you need to learn about writing in your genre. I learned about 80% of what I know about writing through critiquing the works of others, having my own work critiqued, and reading critiques on the online critique group that I'm a part of. My journey was probably pretty typical. I started writing for reals about three years ago. After I started writing something I considered worthwhile, I wanted someone to read it. I found several authors who have websites with "TIPS" sections and to my technique-starved mind, these were a gold mine. Then I found an online critique group! I was so green, I didn't even really know what it was, but it covered all fiction genres, (which is too broad in my opinion). The first time I got a critique from an eleven year old boy, I decided that group wasn't for me. After trying different ones (there are plenty out there), I found one that was a better fit, called RWCcrit. I found a wonderful critique partner through the group, a lady that I know I can send anything to and she will give an honest opinion. The best part of that is that she knows my style, knows my strengths and weaknesses, knows my story and struggles and loves me anyway, so there's no defensiveness.